A Stabilizer’s Top Energy Drainers and Gainers


Recently, while waiting for a flight to take off, I was pleasantly surprised and genuinely entertained by a flight attendant who was fed up with the canned safety instruction speech.

“In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down in front of you. Stop screaming(wait, that’s new), grab the mask, and place it over your face. If you are traveling with small children, we are sorry. (He gets it! He must be a parent.) Secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you’re traveling with more than one child, pick out the one that you think has the most earning potential and place the mask on that one. (LOL! We all know who that one is although we’d never admit it.)

I just love airline personnel with a sense of humor.

As a Stabilizer with a natural bent toward caring for the needs of others, your instinct will always be to place the oxygen mask on someone else first, regardless of earning potential. But if you don’t take care of yourself first, you could end up passed out in the aisle, and unable to help.

In order to be of the greatest service to others, it’s important that you are aware of your energy drainers and gainers. They are unique to your design. If your best friend or husband are different personality types (and usually they are), they probably won’t be drained by these stressors or energized by these self-care acts like you are. Don’t worry, nothing is wrong with you. All you need to do is recognize the additions and subtractions of your Stabilizer type so that you can put on your oxygen mask when necessary.

Top 6 Energy Drainers:


  1. High EmotionsIf you are raising girls or extroverts, this is your world.
  2. Conflict. When kids are fighting, or family members are mad at each other, this is hard.
  3. Endings. For example, when friendships fizzle, someone moves away or says goodbye.
  4. Fast Pace. When life is frenetic, moving at the speed of sound, it wears you down.
  5. Change. Like the loss of favorite traditions, regular routines or just the status quo.
  6. Multi-Tasking. You become overwhelmed when multiple demands press on you.

Top 5 Energy Gainers:


  1. Peace and Quiet. Silence may be golden for others, but it’s platinum for you.
  2. Comfort. Give yourself permission to snuggle up with cushy pillows. Fill your tummy with comfort. Comfort your body.
  3. Rest. With a more subdued energy than the other types, it’s imperative that you get the rest you need.
  4. Affirmation. “Whatever is true, noble, pure, and lovely—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:8–9).
  5. Family Time When you are in your nest with the fam, it pushes the needle of your happy meter to high.

Dear Stabilizer, please take good care of yourself. When you do, you will be stewarding the life you’ve been given so that you can steward those under your care.


For more information, check out the Stabilizer ebook or What’s Your Mom Type?: Discovering God’s Design for You.



There are four Authentic Personality Types:

Doers: Motivators who direct, dominate, and get stuff done.

Stabilizers: Peace-lovers who comfort, calm, and listen.

Connecters: Communicators who inspire, energize, and make life fun.

Improvers: Thinkers who prepare, plan, and perfect.

Learn more about the energy gainers and drainers of each and every type. This way you can understand the triggers of others and help them back up.