How to Tell if You’re Wearing a Personality Mask
https://www.yourauthenticpersonality.com/product/stabilizer-ebook
In today's world, masks have transitioned from being a necessity during the pandemic to a personal choice, often used for self-presentation or protection in various situations.
There is a mask, however, that no one should ever wear: a personality mask.
WHAT IS A PERSONALITY MASK?
A personality mask is an external identity that you can “wear” that is different from your internal self. It’s a set of traits that are manufactured rather than organically grown, usually in response to family dynamics, social pressure, or workplace culture.
Masks become most tempting in environments where one type of personality is preferred over another.
Let’s say your family was really involved at church growing up, and the Sunday school teachers talked most highly about girls who were soft, gentle, meek, and mild (four words, by the way, that have never described me). What type of mask would you be tempted to wear?
Or maybe you went to grad school where your professors favored the highly academic students with a bent for serious discussions and not much else. What type of mask would you be tempted to wear then?
Or maybe you have a great job in corporate America, where your firm praises and promotes assertive managers with over-the-top ambition more often than any other type. What type of mask are you be tempted to wear now?
THE PRESSURE TO BE SYNTHETIC RATHER THAN AUTHENTIC
There is immense pressure to be someone you’re not, making the struggle to stay true to yourself instead of putting on a synthetic persona all too real. When I say "synthetic," I mean adopting a false persona or facade that doesn’t reflect who you really are. This isn’t about intentionally changing your behavior to do well at work or to show kindness and respect to others who are different than you; it’s about those deeper, often unconscious ways we might alter our true selves just to fit in or meet others' expectations.
If you’re not careful, especially as a man or woman with a heart to connect, your desire to be seen, heard, and valued, can cause you to suppress who you are and give in to a personality mask.
“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else-means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.“ EE Cummings
THE SYMPTOMS OF A PERSONALITY MASK
It’s not easy to discern if you’re wearing a personality mask. While you may think that you know who you are, it’s quite possible that you’re so familiar with your mask that you’re hiding from even yourself.
Symptoms such as restlessness, a feeling of insincerity, job dissatisfaction, or emotional and physical exhaustion can point to a personality mask. Low self-esteem, self-doubt and not liking who you see in the mirror usually signal a mask. One of the strongest indicators of a personality mask is a sense of inner conflict, trying to go in two directions at once. If you regard yourself as a mix of opposing factors: fast and slow, deep and light, or active and passive, all at the same time, I’m probably talking about you.
The most common personality mask that I see in my work as a life and career coach is the Improver/Connecter mask. If you don't know your Authentic Personality Type, you can take this quick quiz to determine it now.
Improver women often mask as Connecters because Connecters are naturally social and popular - too highly valued qualities for women. On the other hand Connecter women, especially bright and capable ones, can mask as Improvers because they want to be seen as competent and taken seriously. These type of acknowledgments are rare from Improvers who may not value the more enthusiastic qualities of Connecters and look down on them.
You might see the same type of masking with Doers and Stabilizers, but in my experience, it is more rare.
ARE YOU WEARING A PERSONALITY MASK?
Wondering if you're wearing a personality mask? Here are three effective ways to find out:
1. Take the "How AuthenticAre You?" Quiz
Start with our quick and free online quiz to get an initial sense of your authenticity. It's a great first step to understanding how true you are to yourself.
2. Download the Free "Your Authentic Personality Test"
This test is simple to use. Just check the words that best describe you, tally up the results in all four boxes, and remember to include both your strengthsand weaknesses. You might be wearing a personality mask if:
· All four totals are fairly equal.
· Three of the four totals are close in number.
· Your highest and second-highest totals are on the diagonal.
3. Try the DISC Personality Profile
For a deeper dive, consider taking the DISC Personality Profile. This comprehensive test provides three graphs: your public image, private image, and stress response. You may be wearing a mask if:
· Your private image shows a mix of conflicting types.
· Your results blend three different types.
· Your stress response differs from your private image.
WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE WEARING A MASK
The first action to take if you suspect you’re wearing a mask is to determine what type is the real you and what type is the masked you.
1. Get some honest feedback. Ask a few people that you trust to take the Your Authentic Personality Test on your behalf. If you’ve taken the DISC Personality Profile, have them complete the Action Plan on page 15 of the report. This way you can get an outside perspective on your personality. Since it's hard to read the label from inside the jar, people outside of ourselves can help us to see who we are more clearly.
2. Learn more about all four personality types. Check out the videos on all four types as well as the blogs that go into more detail. What famous people represent each type? What drains each type? What does each type secretly wonder is wrong with them? Then decide which resonates most deeply with you. If may have been many years since you felt the freedom to be your type.
3. Another option is to read What’s Your Mom Type? Discovering God’s Design for You. This book details, among other things, the strengths, weaknesses, and self-care needs. You can also check out shorter versions of the book that are customized for your type with the Doer, Connecter, Improver, or Stabilizer ebooks.
By committing yourself to this type of understanding, you will be more likely to know, like and express who you really are, instead of putting on a personality mask.
If you would like help discovering your areas of genius and aligning your life, work and business with your strengths and talents, book a complimentary Discovery call. I know how hard it is to see yourself clearly and positively because I, too, once wore my own mask. But change is possible and you don’t have to do it alone. I’m here to help.
“Thank you for getting me back to my sweet spot in my business. Once again, I can now do what I do best and be unapologetically me.” Tracy H, Coaching client
There is a life to the full waiting for you.
All you have to do is take off your mask and start living authentically and abundantly today.
