According to the Institute for Motivational Living, Stabilizers are the largest portion of the population. Although quiet and unassuming, we can see these women in the pages of the Bible, loving and serving God while reflecting His caring and peaceful nature.
Abigail, the wife of Nabal, displays several Stabilizer qualities in her interactions with her husband, David, and David’s men. In 1 Samuel 25 Abigail is described as an intelligent and beautiful woman, while Nabal was “surly and mean in his dealings.” One of his servants describes him as “such a wicked man that no one can talk to him” (v 17), except of course, Abigail. Stabilizers, locked and loaded with gifts of mediation, are heroes in dealing with difficult people.
When David’s men, who were very good to Nabal, were insulted by him, “Abigail acted quickly” and diplomatically in Stabilizer form, remaining loyal to her husband while diffusing the tension between him and David. She buffered the strong feelings on both sides and absorbed the blame (v 23-24). David praised her ability to bring peace when he said, “Bless you for keeping me from murder and taking charge of looking our for me” (v. 25 MSG). Don’t we all need an Abigail in our corner?
Ruth, the Moabitess, demonstrated her compassion and loyalty toward her mother-in-law, Naomi, who in her earlier years had been a pleasant woman but later became bitter through the loss of her family. In typical Stabilizer fashion, Ruth tells Naomi that she will stay with her no matter what, even in a strange and foreign land. “For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried” (Ruth 1:16). If that’s not loyalty and devotion, I don’t know what is.
Once in that foreign land, Ruth willingly took on a lowly job, gleaning in the fields, to support her mother-in-law. Humble to the end, God rewarded her faithfulness and gave Ruth a noble man, making her a key link in the lineage of Christ.
I believe that God chose a Stabilizer to be the mother of our Lord and His only begotten Son. When visited by an angel who told her some pretty crazy things (you’ll become the mother of God and sex will not be needed), this was Mary’s reply, “I am the Lord’s servant, may it be to me as you have said.” Only a Stabilizer, with a heart for service and support, could so readily relinquish control and be completely available to such miraculous events. In their book on the leadership styles of Jesus, Ken Voges and Mike Kempainen describe her response like this,
A statement of compliance to the will of another. An attitude of being a team player, letting some one else make the plans. A willingness to fit in, and be helpful, fulfilling a niche that possibly no one else could fill.
Throughout scripture, from the events surrounding Jesus’s birth all the way up to his death, we see Mary being adaptable, flexible, cooperative and modest.
Hanna, mother of the prophet Samuel, resembles Mary in the way she willingly surrendered her child to God’s plan, leading me to believe that she, too, was a Stabilizer. She lived a hard life, sharing her husband with another woman, “her rival who provoked her till she wept” and remaining childless “year after year” (1 Samuel 1:7). But Hanna didn’t get nasty. She didn’t retaliate, grumble, or take her sorrow out on others. She turned inward (the private orientation of a Stabilizer) and upward as she prayed to God and in a stance of surrender, offered any child He might give her, back to Him.
When God finally did answer Hannah’s prayer by giving her the son she had asked for, she praised God in a prayer (1 Samuel 2:1-10) that was the model for Mary’s Magnificat (Luke 1:46-55), acknowledging that God sees the humble and exalts them with honor, an experience that was near and dear to her heart.
These women represent the best that Stabilizers have to offer: qualities like kindness and loyalty stemming from a heart devoted to peace and service. The beauty of their authentic personalities reflects some of the more subtle yet deeply meaningful aspects of God’s character that our hearts yearn for.
For more information on Stabilizer strengths, weaknesses, leadership style, anger trigger, and self-care needs check out the Stabilizer ebook.