What’s Wrong with Me as a Connecter?


The question that every Connecter asks when faced with one of her limitations is this:

What’s wrong with me?

First, let me set the record straight.




Like every other personality type you have weaknesses and gaps. Your weaknesses will be different than the Improvers, Doers, and Stabilizers you know, but that doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you. Your personality weaknesses are normal and to be expected, and they are just strengths that have gone too far. It’s important to realize this so that you don’t try to deny or hide your weaknesses. Yes, they need management. They need the help of Jesus. But, if you throw out your weaknesses, you throw your strengths out too.


When contemplating your “issues,” there are five questions that you as a Connecter usually ask, in an effort to understand yourself. As you read these, I hope that you will keep two things in mind:


  • Nothing is wrong with you. Every Connecter struggles with these weaknesses.
  • Each weakness sources from a strength. This awareness can keep you from abandoning your weakness so it can be used as a strength.



1. Why am I so concerned about what other people think? When you love to make others happy and bring joy to their lives, you’re always scanning the faces of others to see if you’ve been successful. This weakness comes from the strength of being people-oriented.


2. Why can’t I just keep my mouth shut?  Because you have the gift of gab and love to connect, it’s easy to get caught up in the moment and share more than you fair share. This weakness comes from the strength of being communicative.


3. Why is it so hard for me to finish what I started?  Because you love anything new, you jump in strong, but end up losing steam as the novelty wears off. You’re a starter, not a closer. This weakness comes from the strength of initiative.


4. Why do people think I’m shallow?  “It’s all good” can go too far. Too much positivity can sugarcoat reality, minimize pain, and overlook heartache. This weakness comes from the strength of optimism.


5. Why am I so scatterbrained?  You and your brain live in a constant state of motion with great ideas popping up all the time. When you let it get too full, it can’t focus. This weakness comes from the strength of creative energy.




The goal is to manage your weaknesses but not spend all your efforts on them.  You need to plug the holes in your boat (the weaknesses), but if you want to actually go somewhere, you’ll need to steward your God-given strengths.


For more information on how to manage each of these weaknesses and steward your strengths, check out the Connecter Minibook or learn about the four Authentic Personality Types in What’s Your Mom Type? Discovering God’s Design for You.



There are four Authentic Personality Types:

Doers: Motivators who direct, dominate, and get stuff done.

Stabilizers: Peace-lovers who comfort, calm, and listen.

Connecters: Communicators who inspire, energize, and make life fun.

Improvers: Thinkers who prepare, plan, and perfect.

Learn more about the natural weaknesses of each and every type. This way you can adjust your expectations and extend grace to those around you.