The question that every Improver asks when faced with one of her limitations is this:
What’s wrong with me?
First, let me set the record straight.
NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU
Like every other personality type you have weaknesses and gaps. Your weaknesses will be different than the Doers, Connecters, and Stabilizers you know, but that doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you.
Second, your personality weaknesses are normal and to be expected, and they are just strengths that have gone too far. It’s important to realize this so that you don’t try to deny or hide your weaknesses. Yes, they need management. They need the help of Jesus. But, if you throw out your weaknesses, you throw your strengths out too.
When contemplating your “issues,” there are five questions that you, as an Improver, usually ask in an effort to understand yourself. As you read these, I hope that you will keep two things in mind:
- Nothing is wrong with you. Most every Improver struggles with these weaknesses.
- Each weakness sources from a strength. This awareness can keep you from abandoning your weakness so it can be used as a strength.
THE FIVE CONCERNS OF AN IMPROVER
1. Why am I so hard on myself and others? Because you yearn for beauty in its purest and most perfect form, you tend to set the bar high. When you want the best, it’s hard to settle for anything less. This weakness comes from the strength of being quality-focused.
2. Why do I overthink everything? Because you don’t like to make mistakes, you spend unless amounts of time analyzing details. Your brain stays busy rehashing every conversation and mulling over all your options. This weakness comes from the strength of being reflective.
3. Why is my glass half-empty? When you are able to see what’s wrong (so you can make it right), it’s easy to focus on problems. Editors aren’t paid to notice what’s right, instead their job is to see what’s wrong. This weakness comes from the strength of a critical eye.
4. Why is forgiveness so hard for me? You strive to do things right, so you don’t get when others do things wrong. To forgive seems illogical, undeserving, and a set up for future hurt. This weakness comes from the strength of being justice-minded.
5. Why am I so black and white? You like numbers and facts; you don’t like “-ish” or ambiguities. When measurements and calculations are involved, there is no gray area. This weakness comes from the strength of being precise.
MANAGE NOT OBSESS
Finally, the goal is to manage your weaknesses but not to spend all your efforts on them. You need to plug the leaks in your boat, but if you want to actually go somewhere, you’ll need to steward your God-given strengths.
For more information on how to manage each of these weaknesses and steward your strengths, check out the Improver ebook or learn about the four Authentic Personality Types in What’s Your Mom Type? Discovering God’s Design for You.