How To Set Goals That Match Your Authentic Self
Are you crystal clear on who you are and what you're supposed to do right now, in this moment?
If you're not, you're far from alone. As a life coach, I've noticed that identity crises have become increasingly common, and I've witnessed this firsthand with my clients. As one of my clients, Kim, recently shared: "When I first reached out for coaching, I thought all I needed was a better resume. What I discovered was so much deeper – I needed to reconnect with my own value."
WHAT EXACTLY IS AN IDENTITY CRISIS?
An identity crisis is a period of uncertainty in your definition and direction. It's that uncomfortable space where you're trying to align who you are with what you do—and right now, that's something I deeply understand. Even as someone who guides others in creating meaningful careers and authentic lives, I sometimes find myself wrestling with clarity about my own message and direction.
WHAT TRIGGERS AN IDENTITY CRISIS?
An identity crisis typically occurs when there's a significant change in your life. Let me share some real examples from my clients:
Your role changes. Like Jennie, who came to me feeling trapped and hopeless, you might be navigating a career transition or stepping into a new phase of life. Or perhaps, like many of my clients, you're becoming a new parent, leader, or finding yourself newly single – suddenly faced with a whole new set of responsibilities and questions about who you are.
Your goals shift. Take Dr. Tam's story: Despite running a successful business, having a Ph.D., and a happy marriage, she felt she was drowning trying to do it all. She needed to realign her goals with her authentic self. Sometimes you want to take on a new project or side hustle and find yourself in uncharted territory.
Your attitude transforms. As Linda experienced, sometimes you realize you've been wearing 'armor' that's preventing you from creating a life you love. You might be tired of living according to others' expectations or feeling disconnected from your true self.
WELLBEING AS YOUR FOUNDATION
Taking care of yourself isn't optional during times of transition. As Sarah discovered in our work together, "When you know yourself, when you authentically understand what you value, what lights you up and who you were put on this planet to serve, you can accomplish anything."
When facing an identity crisis, it's natural to feel overwhelmed or disconnected from your usual sense of purpose. Many of my clients initially struggle with decision-making or feel out of alignment with their current roles. These are normal responses to significant life transitions, and addressing them starts with compassionate self-awareness.
MAKING DEFINITION A PRIORITY
If you're feeling uncertain about your direction, make definition your foundation. Before rushing to set new goals or make big changes, take time to clarify your path. This means deeply examining your core values in today's context and understanding how your unique strengths translate to current opportunities. It involves exploring your authentic self in both physical and digital spaces, and establishing your non-negotiables in work and life. Your personal boundaries and energy management should be at the forefront of these considerations.
A NOTE FOR FAITH-DRIVEN WOMEN
While spiritual identity provides a crucial foundation, today's complex choices require understanding your God-given uniqueness to navigate practical decisions. Your faith can be your anchor while you explore how your unique gifts serve your purpose in today's world.
BREAKING THROUGH THE FOG
If you're stuck, remember that seeking support isn't just okay—it's essential. In our hyper-connected world, isolation can be deceptively easy. The path forward might include working with a professional coach to gain clarity and create actionable strategies. Many find success in joining meaningful professional communities or engaging with mentors who understand today's landscape. Group coaching programs can also provide valuable perspective and support. And remember, some transitions might benefit from additional professional support beyond coaching—knowing when to refer to other professionals is part of my commitment to serving my clients' best interests.
MOVING FORWARD
As we step into 2025, here are the essential questions to reflect upon:
- What direction are you truly seeking in this new landscape?
- How might gaining clearer definition of yourself help unlock your next steps?
- Who do you need in your corner to help you navigate this journey?
- What boundaries and practices would best support you through this exploration?
Remember, as my client Emily beautifully put it: "Through Dale's incredible knowledge and processes, together we uncovered my true strengths, gifts and values, and it was liberating! It all suddenly felt like ME!"
Ready to gain clarity and create purposeful direction in your life? I offer complimentary Inquiry calls to discuss how coaching might help you navigate this journey authentically. Just click here to find out more.
